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This review only deserves small print. I'm giving it a Lame, Unwatchable and a Horrible tag, just in case you don't get it. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES - A friend said was playing on a plane trip she took - if that happens to you, get a blindfold, just in case.
Why anybody thought they should remake a classic movie like The Day the Earth Stood Still and they cast Keanu Reeves as Klaatu is beyond apprehension.
It did have it's humorous parts, I must admit, although I don't think the filmmaker was going for laughs.
- Kidnap an 80 foot robot with an evil roving eye and put him inside a tube? Really?
- Have an observation booth looking right into the evil eye and then have the supercilious assistant SecDef (played by scenery chewing Kathy Bates) walk around 10 feet from him protected by glass? Really? I don't think it's a good idea.
- Ooops, weird metal scorpions are eating through the diamond drill and then a bigger OOPS, they are eating through the glass.
- Oh darn, everyone is trapped and kablooey!
- But wait! outside the mountian and the giant gates, is a huge army of tanks to defend us against the indesctructable giant robot! What a great idea. Heck of a job, Kathy Bates or should I say Batesie?
- Oops again - the robot turns into a swarm of locusts that eat and disolve everything in their path. Gee Whiz, tanks don't do much.
Then Klaatu doesn't ever deliver his message to more than Jennifer Connelly, who's very lovely, but hardly going to make a difference and get the Earth to stop messing things up. And her son is the most annoying character I've ever seen - Gort should have stomped him in the first act!
The whole thing is a mess and I wish I had never watching this crummy movie. Patoee!
Second best line in the movie: "Klaatu, let me be frank with you.". And who knew it was going to be a Fez movie? A double Fez movie.
The Day the Earth Stood Still is one of my all time favorite movies and when I was a little kid, I memorized the words that saved the world from Gort the robot, just in case I would have to save the world one day - Klaatu barada nikto! It's burned into my brain. I've never had to save the Earth, but just in case...
It's very much a cold war SciFi movie - all about the Earth messing up itself and the aliens coming to warn the Earth as long as they just stay at home blowing each other up, that's OK, but now that they might start spreading war to Outer Space, well then! Our good buddy Gort is going to hang around to make sure that doesn't happen.
It's also very biblical with Klaatu taking on the name Mr. Carpenter and then dieing and come back to life - ya know, kinda like Jesus? A morality play, eh what?
Gratutious Sam Jaffe as the fake Einstein with his excellent fuzzy hair. Super duper Theramin music and on the BluRay DVD, excellent extras about it and the making of the movie, etc.
If you haven't seen this movie, you don't know nuttin' about SciFi!
I laughed out loud in the first 10 minutes of watch Equilibrium. I don't think that was supposed to happen. I also predicted several lines in the movie, so I think that means that the screenplay wasn't that good either.
This is a 1984 meets The Matrix and it's unintentionally hilarious, especially Christian Bale and his little Nazi Youth son. It also throws in a bit of The Wizard of Oz. It's just a mishmash of previous movie plots and when you squish it all together, you might as well be having some nice oatmeal or smashed potatoes or some applesauce. You'd be enjoying it a lot more.
I've got to be more careful in choosing my Netflix DVD's. This is two lame movies in a row. Brutal!
Lost in La Mancha is a documentary about the failed attempt of Monty Python's Terry Gilliam to make a movie called Who Killed Don Quixote.
They have every problem and disaster you could think of including floods, clouds, dust storms, jet fighters, etc.
It's painful to watch and I wouldn't recommend it.
Cloak and Dagger is a pretty good WWII romantic thriller. It's a bit dated of course, but I enjoyed watching Gary Cooper do some karate chopping after getting recruited by the OSS. He's a nuclear scientist working on the Manhattan Project, but he gets a more important job.
It's directed by Fritz Lang, who's famous for directing the influential silent film, Metropolis and also M and the Blue Gardinia.
It's a pretty snappy movie and it's more cloak than dagger. It's got Lilli Palmer, who I remember in Operation Crossbow with George Peppard, as Gina. She's way undercover and is having to kiss fat Nazis to do her job. She helps Gary smuggle out an important Italian nuclear scientist to slow down the Nazis from getting the BOMB!
Star Trek is the best movie I've seen in the theater all year.
It's got action, massive special effects, has a good time with staying true to the original series and at the same time pokes fun at some of the sillier aspects.
All the actors play their parts to a T and I really like Eric Bana as the bad Romulan, Nero.
There are lots of places where I found myself holding my breath, so I know the excitement is there.
Go see it! Nuf said.
Run Fatboy Run is a surprisingly nice, fun romantic comedy starring Simon Pegg and Thandie Newton.
It's not a huge laugh out loud comedy like some of Simon Pegg's movies (Hot Fuzz), but I really enjoyed it.
Simon runs out out Thandie (what is he, stupid? - well yes) on the day of their wedding, when she's pregnant, then it jumps forward to 5 years later.
Thandie's new boyfriend, played by Hank Azaria, is a big shot and brags about his upcoming marathon run and Simon thinks that if he can also run the marathon, he might win back Thandie.
I really like all the supporting characters - the landlord and his sexy daughter, Simon's best friend and the people he bets all his money (which he doesn't have) on Simon finishing the race.
It has a happy ending. Yay!
The Wild One might be tame these days, but in 1954, it was definitely bad ass. Marlon Brando in his leather jacket and crooked hat as Johnny and Lee Marvin as the rival gang leader Chino, terrorizing a small town is still way cool.
Marlon's gang doesn't have any plans, they just ride around having kicks and he loves them and leaves them. He meets Kathie at the town's cafe, who happens to be the daughter of the town Sheriff. He kind of falls for her and she's looking for some more excitement than her small town life brings. Johnny is something completely different.
You have to watch this movie knowing it's in B&W and and old fashioned and you will enjoy it. Best line: "Hey Uncle Frank."
I had seen Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in the movie theater, but it was much better watching it the 2nd time at the Dreamland Theater. I'm not sure why, but now I really like this movie.
I was able to see things like that the refrigerator that Indy gets blown up in the atomic blast is "Lead Lined".
The action is great and I even liked the aliens at the end of the movie now, whereas it was too confusing when I watched it the first time. Maybe it gets better with age.
Gratuitous LaBoof as Indy Jr. and Ray Winstone is excellent as the on/off partner. Cate Blanchett is the Nazi villain and Karen Allen makes a comeback as Marion, which was a good touch! Also it's got chickens!
What can I say about Punisher: War Zone? Well, I can say that the main character is Frank Castle, so as a Frank movie, that is always a good sign.
Unfortunately, having Frank in almost every scene and people saying "Frank" a lot doesn't overcome the lameness of this movie.
The Punisher is getting revenge on all the Mafia types in the city because his whole family got in the way of a bunch of bullets a few years earlier.
Needless to say, a whole lot of Punishing goes on and there is massive amounts of faces blown off and the big bad guy get squeezed into a glass recycling machine, which turns his face into a jigsaw puzzle, so he changes his name to... Wait for it!! Jigsaw. It is nice photographed, but it's not worth the time.
A Hobson's Choice means Take It or Leave It, so no choice at all.
The movie, Hobson's Choice, starring Charles Laughton is a really fun movie about lots of take it or leave it.
This delightful seldom aired little masterpiece of a movie is one of David Lean's best. It was just released on DVD.
Charles Laughton, John Mills, Brenda de Banzie, and all the supporting cast are on top form in this story (based on the play by Harold Brigham) about the goings-on in a Salford shoe shop.
Hobson, the hard drinking proprietor of the shop, is a "big fish in a little pond", but who gets his come-uppance by way of his eldest daughter.
Be sure to notice that Hobson's youngest daughter is played by a very young Prunella Scales, who later finds fame as Sybil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers.
Below is a pretty dumb horror movie. The plot is lame, the acting is lame, the so-called surprises are lame and easy to figure out. Bruce Greenwood is lame as the "captain".
The submarine is about 4 times larger than any real sub, so that's lame also. There is a lame ghost too.
That's about all I need to say about this movie.
Breakheart Pass is an old fashioned 1970's western that has Charles Bronson riding to the rescue through the snow, blasting with dynamite and fighting on the top of a movie train.
It's legendary stuntman Yakima Canutt's final movie credit and if you look closely, you'll see Yakima stunt-doubling for Bronson in the train fight.
It's got gratuitous Richard Crenna as a corrupt Govenor and Ben Johnson at his crinkly cowboy best as a corrupt Sherrif and Charles Durning as the corrupt train conductor.
It's Bronson against the world! What else do you want? Well, how about excellent Jerry Goldsmith music and uber-gratuitous Joe Kapp and Archie Moore (ArchMO) as corrupt chefs?
This review only deserves small print. I'm giving it a Lame, Unwatchable and a Horrible tag, just in case you don't get it. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES - A friend said was playing on a plane trip she took - if that happens to you, get a blindfold, just in case.
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